To Choose
by JWolfgirl13
Summary: For the ones he loves, Severus Snape would sacrifice everything, including his happiness. What if Snape knew what he was getting into before he lived out his life? What if he had a choice? Just a random oneshot that wouldn't leave me alone.


**Author's Note: Ok! So this was an idea that wouldn't leave me alone, so I figured I'd give it a try. It came about because I like to believe that somewhere, in sometime, Severus Snape had a choice in his fate. I want to believe that Snape was loved and because of that love, he was willing to condemn himself to a life of loneliness.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, though it would be incredibly cool if I did :)**

Severus Snape was eleven years old when he first met Vida Campbell. He had boarded the Hogwarts Express with his best friend, Muggleborn Lily Evans. The red-headed girl was feeling down because her older sister had called her a freak, saying that she hated her. Of course, Severus knew that Tuney was only jealous, that her irritation would eventually blow over. As he tugged his friend along the train, looking for a compartment, he tried to lift her miserable mood by talking about Hogwarts, reminding her of all of the excitement to come. It was as Lily finally began to smile that the train gave a sudden lurch and Severus found himself propelled forward into a young girl headed in the opposite direction.

All three children fell to the floor in a heap, Lily falling with Severus as he tugged her down in his fall. Severus raised his head off of the carpet only to meet a pair of deep, ocean blue eyes, eyes that captivated him in a way he did not know was possible. He gave the girl a sheepish smile, confirmed that Lily was alright, and slowly made his way to his feet. From there, Severus reached out a hand to both girls, offering them assistance getting up, a hand which both of them took. It was at that moment that the blue-eyed girl began to giggle, dropping one hand to her mouth and another to her stomach as the giggles evolved into full-belly laughs at Severus' dumb-founded expression. Lily was quick to join the laughter, finding humor in the situation that Severus had yet to grasp. The two girls shook hands, Blue-Eyes introducing herself as Vida Campbell. She then took Severus' hand, gave both friends a soft smile, and asked them to join her in a compartment she'd found earlier. The moment she locked arms with the two children became the foundation of the most powerful of friendships.

When they reach Vida's compartment, they are surprised to find it occupied by four boys. One, a brown-haired boy with a quiet nature, was sitting cozily in the corner with a book in his lap, seemingly content to read despite the loudness of his companions. Two black haired boys, one very aristocratic in appearance and the other a small but healthy looking child with round glasses, were chattering and jumping around, clearly the product of excitement and too many sweets. And the fourth, a sandy-haired, chubby boy was watching his companions, studying them almost, with a thoughtful and calculating expression. The noise stopped for a moment as Vida opened the door and ushered Severus and Lily inside, and all four boys looked at the new arrivals curiously. The two rambunctious boys simply shrugged and resumed their previous antics. The sandy-haired boy snorted in derision and turned away. And the brown-haired child offered them a smile and scooted over on his bench to make room.

All was well for a while. The chubby boy on the far side of the compartment continued watching his companions and the two black haired boys continued to bounce around the compartment. The brown-haired boy—who had told them his name was Remus Lupin—was now engaged in a discussion about fantasy novels with Lily, and how they compared to the realities of the wizarding world. Severus and Vida were happily getting to know one another, talking about their hoped for experiences now that they were Hogwarts aged. It was as they were discussing the Sorting Ceremony that things became dicey. Severus claimed that he wanted to be in Slytherin, as it was the best house. The black haired, bespeckled boy—James Potter—evidently did not agree, claiming that the best was "Gryffindor, where dwell the brave of heart!" This led to a whole round of arguing about brains vs. brawn—with James being backed up by his new friend Sirius—which may have started a hateful rivalry had Vida not stepped in.

"Personally, I think all of the Houses are cool. Stop being idiots over something so trivial; it's not like people actually care what House you were in once we graduate," she said calmly, rolling her eyes at their behavior. This brought all three boys pause. That was actually a pretty good point. Severus acknowledged that he wouldn't quit talking to Lily if she were in a House other than Slytherin, and James had already told Sirius that he seemed like a decent enough bloke for James to stay friends with him even if he did end up in the House of the Snakes. Once they realized that their friendships would not change, regardless of what House anyone ended up in, the argument ceased. Severus apologized to James for mocking his choice in Gryffindor, and James apologized to Severus for cutting down his opinions. The three boys became fast friends; Severus and Sirius were able to connect through their shared sarcastic wit and Severus and James bonded over their love of complex spell casting. The sandy-haired boy, having understood that the newcomers were there to stay, sighed in exasperation and left, not to return for the entirety of the train ride.

Once they reached Hogwarts, things picked up. Four of the six new friends ended up in Gryffindor, with Severus and Vida being the lone Slytherins of the group. Despite being separated into opposing houses, the group maintained a solid friendship. James and Sirius quickly became the most popular boys in their year, pulling numerous pranks and making a name for themselves. Remus often found himself dragged into these pranks, inventing some of the best that the group had pulled off thus far. Severus was less inclined to prank than his friends, though he did team up with Lily and sometimes Vida when the mood struck him, acting as an opposing force to the gifted Marauders, as his male friends had dubbed their team. First year was difficult at first, as Severus was made the target of bullying by those in the other Houses. They tried to mess with Vida as well, but a well-placed punch to the nose of the school's most fearsome bully cured that issue rather quickly. Severus was quieter about the issue, not wanting to alert his friends and risk losing them. Inevitably, Lily and Remus found out when some students ganged up on him in the Library, led by the sandy-haired boy on the train, Peter Pettigrew. None of Severus' friends took the news lightly. James and Sirius made it public knowledge that they were good friends with the Slytherin boy, and teamed up with the other three to stop any attempts at bullying towards Severus or any other children.

With first year ended, the six friends went to their separate homes for the summer. Lily and Severus continued to spend time together with regularity, but now Vida often joined them. She said that she lived nearby and would walk over to Lily's house when she wanted to play. Severus was trying to deal with problems at home, and Vida quickly realized that he was having a difficult time. Lily told her parents and friends, and soon Severus received an invite to spend the rest of the summer at Lily's home. The rest of the summer passed uneventfully, as did their second year. That was the year that they discovered that Remus was a werewolf, and the boys began the process of becoming Animagi. Sirius and James were very gifted at Transfiguration and with some helpful potions provided by Lily and Severus they mastered the transformation within the year. Severus was close to his own form, though slightly slower than his friends as he did not have their talent, but they were working on it. By June of second year, Severus too had mastered his form. The boys gave each other nicknames: Remus was Moony, for his werewolf form; James was Prongs, named for the stag he turned into; Sirius became Padfoot, a large, grim-like dog; and Severus was called Talon, for his Raven form.

Come third year, hormones began to complicate things. Lily and Vida became more moody, and more inclined to leave the boys for a few hours for some "girl time." Sirius discovered his liking for girls, and wasted no time in snogging most of the girls in their year, while Remus was the exact opposite and stayed as far away from girls as he could. Severus and James had the most difficult time of all, for they suddenly found themselves attracted to their female best friends. James and Lily spent more time together, as did Severus and Vida, and this only served to confuse the poor boys even more. The moments when the whole group could come together, though, were some of the best times of their lives. On Halloween, they camped out in the passageway behind the One-Eyed Witch, eating sweets and telling ghost stories. New Year's Eve, they stayed up all night at James' house, ringing in the New Year before collapsing onto each other and falling into a restful sleep. That February, on a Hogsmeade trip, the girls chased all four boys down the street, pelting them with snowballs and finally catching Remus, pouring snow onto his head. The night before they left for the summer, all six sat under a large tree near the edge of the lake, drinking Butterbeer and talking about the future. Vida curled herself into Severus' side, falling asleep as James and Sirius talked about the grand adventures they would have when they became Aurors. Lily laughed with Remus, eyes sparkling as she took in James' excited gestures and the sleeping forms of her two best friends.

By fourth year, James finally asked Lily out, in the most dramatic way possible. Once Lily saw the large banner in the great hall, as well as the festively decorated hearts hanging from it and the fireworks that burst off a moment after she entered (which was actually rather impressive) she happily agreed (under the condition that if he ever pulled off such a ridiculous stunt again she would hex the idiocy right out of him) and they went on their first date in Hogsmeade on November 23. Sirius and Remus spent a bit more time together, as James was spending time with his new girlfriend and Sirius was left with more time on his hands than he had previously. It was Sirius who finally convinced Remus to give Dorcas Meadows a chance, and he went on his first of few dates. They did kiss, but the relationship went nowhere and they parted on friendly terms. Severus and Vida were spending a lot more time together as well, and Vida began to return Severus' feelings for her. Neither said anything, and they finished out the year as close friends. The year came and went, with the only notable worry being that Pettigrew was now teaming up with members from all houses, including Slytherin, and began bullying some of the younger students once more. The friends tried to prevent their antics whenever they could, but their efforts were not as effective as they had been when they were younger.

Fifth year was when things really began to change. Severus was once again the target of Pettigrew's group, though this time he was mocked for his lack of dating skills. They claimed that he was ugly and stupid, and that was probably why he couldn't get a girl. On one of these occasions, which Severus was trying not to take to heart, Pettigrew's taunts were interrupted by an annoyed, "Oh bloody hell!" A moment later Severus was spun around and had a glimpse of deep, ocean blue eyes before a hand grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him down to a pair of lips that pressed themselves to his own. When Vida had finished kissing him, she simply turned to Pettigrew, smirked, and said, "Whatever you claim, he's a damn good snog, so at least he's got you one upped there." Ignoring Pettigrew's spluttering and Sirius' wolf whistles, Severus dragged Vida away and asked if she wanted to be his girlfriend, to which she said yes. Lily and Sirius, who had seen the whole thing, caught up to them at this point, Lily bouncing up and down in a happy manner and Sirius congratulating them on "finally getting your arses in gear."

Though this was a happy time for the group, fifth year also brought about some terrifying revelations. Now that they were so much closer to entering the adult world, the students were being forced to seriously consider their place in the ongoing Wizarding War. All but Vida immediately claimed that they would be fighting for the Light, that they would never join Voldemort. But Vida was silent on the issue, refusing to say one way or another, until they again met under their tree at the end of the school year. It was there that Vida confessed to several things she had kept hidden in all the time that they had known her. For one, Vida had no family. She grew up in an orphanage after being found wandering the streets when she was four years old. Her second confession was far more sinister in nature: Vida was a magical anomaly. She had powers; powers to see what could and would happen in the world. She knew, for example, when some people would die, when others would be born, and how small events could affect the course of their lives. She told them that it was because of these powers that she could not fight in the war. For there was a possible future, one that included Voldemort's success, that could occur if she was captured. And he knew about her abilities, he knew what she could do. Her friends, wide eyed, asked how she could possibly prevent something like that; how could they keep her safe? And she informed them of a potion, something special that she had had created and planned to drink that very night. This potion stayed in the drinker's system, dormant, until it was activated by a certain ritual. Once the ritual was complete, the drinker would be removed entirely from the time stream, and reality would alter to behave as if they had never had existed.

This plan was something her friends entirely disagreed with. Severus pleaded with his girlfriend not to drink the potion, Lily captured her friend into a tight hug, and the boys pulled the vial away from her. It was then that Vida explained to them the differences between this world and that of the world that could be. She told them about how her presence affected their friendship, how Severus would be the target of a different Marauders' bullying. She told them about Severus' love of Lily Evans, and his turn to the dark after he lost her friendship. She told them of little Harry Potter, who would lose his parents when he was a year old, after Severus had turned over the Prophecy to Voldemort, and how Sirius would go to Azkaban for 12 years. She told them everything. And in the end, Severus told James to hand him the potion. When the boy called him mental, Severus told him that, as horrible as that future was for the lot of them, at least the majority would get a bit of happiness. Lily and James would get a bit of time together, Remus would have a family, and Sirius would have a small bit of time with his godson and friends. "What about you Sev? What do you get?" Lily asked softly, hating the idea of this alternate future. And Severus held his head high, claiming that, as much as it would be painful for him, he'd rather a future in which he helped stop something evil than to live in a world where evil ruled. If Voldemort won, he'd lose them all, and that would almost be worse than never having them in the first place. And so James handed Vida the potion, ordering her to only use the ritual as a last resort.

They could not have known that they would only have one more year with each other. Sixth year came and went, with fear reaching even the protective walls of Hogwarts. Voldemort was gathering strength, he was becoming more reckless, and families were at greater risk. Still, the group of friends flourished. The Junior Death Eaters, as Sirius had so eloquently dubbed Pettigrew's gang, did not even bother trying to recruit Vida or Severus, as they had shown their loyalties clearly. Remus was learning a bit more control over his wolf, so that he did not injure himself as fully when the moon was full, and each student developed in their abilities in school to the point that they were competing for top of each class. Sirius and Marlene McKinnon were dating, and even Remus had found a comfortable relationship with Anna Richards, a fifth year Hufflepuff. Lily and James were so close, you would think they'd been together for ten years instead of two. And Vida and Severus were happily in love. Life was good…until August.

It was in August that the friends were attacked while walking through Muggle London. They had simply been spending the day together in what was supposed to be a safe area. As the Death Eaters swarmed them and spells went flying, decisions were made that forced Vida's hand. Remus had been injured rather severely by the first few spells as he had only been given time to shove Sirius to the ground and out of range before being double teamed. Lily's wand had been destroyed by a Reductor curse, leaving her defenseless. There were too many to hold in a fight. And so Vida made a choice. "James, get Remus back to your place and get help from your dad! Severus," here he shot her a glare for even considering that he would leave her. She sighed, but continued, "Alright, fine, _Sirius_, get Lily home now. She needs a way back and none of us are good enough to side-along apparate two people. Sev, we need to give them some time." The boys protested, but were left with no choice, and did as they were told. Unfortunately, more Death Eaters kept coming and both Vida and Severus were soon overwhelmed. As Voldemort was summoned, Vida knew she had no choice. She could see, in her mind's eye, what the outcome of this would be. Voldemort would win. Help would not arrive.

And so Vida beat away the hands that held her long enough to race to Severus and capture his lips in one last, searing kiss. She whispered a brief "I love you" and he told her the same. And then she began the incantation that would change the course of history.

Severus felt a sharp tug at his heart and heart five echoed cries of pain. He knew then that the others were feeling this loss just as deeply as he was. Memories began to flash through his mind, running in reverse…

…He was sixteen, and he and Remus had successfully pranked James and Sirius…

…He was fifteen, and the girls were giggling in the corner, interrogating each other about what he and James had done for Valentine's Day…

…He was fourteen, and cheering on Sirius and James as they played Quidditch, the girls gripping either arm and Remus cracking up the crowd from the commentator's box…

…He was thirteen, and they were camped out in the hospital wing with Remus, exhausted and exhilarated after an eventful full moon adventure…

…He was twelve, and James was telling him to concentrate as he turned into a large, black raven…

…He was eleven, and he was pulling a brown haired, blue eyed girl off of the floor of the Hogwarts Express…

At this last memory, Severus had just enough strength to prepare himself for what was to come. He focused on the deep blue of the girl's eyes, the softness of her hand in his, and the tingling electric current that shot through his skin as they clasped hands. These memories would keep him going, and give him the strength to let go of this life. The images of his friends as they grew burned brightly in his mind, once again drawing his attention as to why he would ever allow Vida to do this. He knew that he was going to suffer. He would forget the girl he loved, forget that he had ever been friends with the boys who will soon be nothing more than his tormenters. He would forget that Lily was anything other than his best friend, and even that one, possible friendship would be lost to him. But, because he was allowing this to happen, the four of them would have happy teen years. Sirius would not be abandoned to his cruel family. Remus would still have friends that accept him for who he is, and would never be fully alone. Lily and James would have a beautiful few years of marriage, and then would live on in their son. Yes, the world would be a little colder and darker than it should be. But Voldemort would not win. His friends—his family—would live as well as he could provide for them, and it was for this reason that Vida was sacrificing her very life. And so Severus Snape would sacrifice his happiness. For this end, Severus would and did sacrifice everything.

One last time, he looked into the deep, ocean blue eyes of the girl he loved.

Then Severus blacked out, sleeping soundly as history rewrote itself.

**Alright, that's it. It's rather sad; I didn't imagine it being as depressing as it turned out in the end. Hope you like it and thanks for reading. Constructive criticism is more than welcome.**


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